Can't Help It
by CloudyxRainbow
Summary: I can't help it. She's my best friend and my girlfriend hates her. I can't help it. She's my best friend and I love her. Niley, what else ; Oneshot


Wrong; that's what it was. It was wrong of to think that way. Why? Because I had a girlfriend. I loved my girlfriend - at least I thought so. But I couldn't help it. Whenever I see her my heart skips a beat. That usually never happens with Alex. Not a good sign? It gets worse.

We have this playful banter. Now that wouldn't be a problem… if we wouldn't touch each other while the banter. All we'd do is squeeze the others side. and I loved touching her side. Problem: Alex sees it. She's jealous. She _forbid _me to see her again - well out of school. I wasn't _allowed _to look at her. Well I know - I'm whipped.

Well, kind of. See, the problem with me is that I don't listen to Alex. In fact, I ignore her. I just enjoy those playful banters too much. Speaking of her…

"Hey Nicky." She giggled and squeezed my sides. I squirmed and squeezed her back.

"Hey you." I smiled at her as she sat down opposite of me. Fortunately for me, Alex didn't have lunch with us.

"You looked lonely over here so I decided to be your company." I nodded and ate a fry. She grinned and grabbed one too.

"Hey! Those are mine!" She shrugged and giggled before taking another one.

"You'll live. So how's it goin'?" She had this heavy accent that sounded just so cute. But don't tell her that. She hated her accent.

"Well, I'm good. I live, I breathe, I love…" She giggled but I saw her expression change from happy to… less happy.

"You know that's not exactly what I meant." I sighed and nodded.

"It's not going too well." She sighed and got up before sitting next to me. She patted my back gently.

"Why?" I looked at her. She was naturally beautiful. Even without any make-up on. She wasn't **fake**. Alex was pretty too but on a whole other level. She wore tons of make-up.

"Alex is just… Alex." Miley put her head on my shoulder and sighed again.

"I'm sorry… anything I can do?" I wanted to answer her but someone rudely interrupted me.

"How about you stay away from my boyfriend?" Miley slid away from me quickly. I sighed sadly and then turned around to smile at Alex. She looked angry.

"Hey… Why aren't you in class?" Alex glared at Miley and chose to ignore me. Miley looked down bashfully and sighed.

"I'm sorry… I'm going to stay away from him from now on." Miley got up and my heart started to ache. Just the way Miley looked broke my heart. Alex smirked and nodded.

"You better. Miley bit her lip and looked at me one last time.

"I'm sorry again. I won't bother you anymore." Her voice cracked lightly as she walked away quickly. I looked at Alex sadly while she smirked at me.

"Does it have to be this way? She's just a friend…" Alex shook her head.

"No, she's not! She is in love with you! And if you can't see it… then I'm glad that you don't but I'd still say you're a jerk. You're leading her on. She does not deserve that. Even I think so." I shook my head angrily.

"I am not leading her on!" Alex rolled her eyes.

"Oh please… you let her touch you, look at you with those love struck eyes - which would be cute if she weren't looking at **you** - and you let her laugh and have fun with you… and yet you have a girlfriend." I looked away from Alex. She was right. I _was _leading her on. Alex chuckled and I looked back at her.

"What?" She shook her head and grinned evilly.

"You just realized it. It's practically your fault that her little, sick heart just broke and you finally realized it." It was no secret that Miley had a heart disease. I sighed sadly. I would feel like a jerk if I broke up with Alex right now. I didn't know what I could do. And then I made the worst decision of my life. I decided to not do anything at all and leave her alone.

**Two Weeks Later**

It's been two weeks since I've last seen her. It was weird; we had every class together and she hasn't been in one since that one lunch break. To say it worried me was an understatement. I was freaking out.

And the situation with Alex was getting worse by the minute. She was clingier than ever. I guess she felt that I really didn't want to be with her anymore. I wanted to be with Miley and no one else.

It's time for a recap on Miley's and mine relationship. We've been friends for a really long time. Actually since kindergarten. Alex knew that and she was jealous from the beginning.

I've always like Miley more than a friend should. I never told her because I thought our friendship was too important to lose over a relationship that might end sooner than we'd think. That why I started dating Alex. To get over Miley. Didn't work, that's all I'm saying. She was my best friend after all, I see her every day.

I guess throughout the years I grew to love Miley. I really did. And now I messed it up. She hadn't answered any of my calls or hasn't replied to my texts.

It was afternoon and - surprise, surprise - Alex was over. We were in my room. She was on my bed while I was at the computer when Mom burst in. I looked at her confused. She looked out of breath.

"What's wrong?" Mom rushed over to me and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back still confused as hell.

"What's going on?" She pulled back and looked at me with sorry eyes.

"It's about Miley…" Alex scoffed and got up. I turned to look at her, just like my mom.

"What, did she jump off a cliff or and is now dying?" Mom looked at me. She was irritated by Alex obviously but chose to ignore her for the moment.

"Not exactly…" My eyes widened as I stared at her shocked.

"What…?" My voice was hoarse and I could feel my eyes starting to water. My mom patted my arm softly.

"She… talked to her Mom a week ago about how her heart was hurting. Unfortunately Tish didn't read much into it and ignored it. Around dinner time, when she called Miley, Miley didn't answer so Tish went upstairs. She found Miley on her bed, a wrist was bleeding and the other hand was on her heart with the razor blade. She's in a critical condition. They didn't want to tell you because you'd freak out but right now they think you could help her. She's in the Memorial Hospital and they need you there right now so just…" I didn't let her finish. I dashed out of my room and the house after grabbing my keys.

I couldn't think straight. Miley - _**my Miley **_- was in the hospital after she slid her wrist and said her heart was hurting. This was my fault - all of it. I shouldn't have led her on.

I raced to the hospital, not caring about traffic lights or speeding tickets. I had to get there and that fast. After I 'carefully' - and actually, it was rather dangerous, but whatever - parked my car, I jumped out of it and ran towards the doors. I burst through it and ran up to the front desk. The lady looked at me funny.

"I need to go to Miley Stewart's room… NOW!" The lady jumped and looked at me scared.

"Uhm… a-are you related t-to her?" I glared that the woman in front of me.

"Does that even matter? Look, somewhere in this hospital is the love of my life, okay? She's in a critical condition and they told me to come here because…" I was interrupted by a woman's cry. I turned my head to see Tish storming towards me.

"Oh Nick…" I hugged her back tightly as she practically squeezed me to death. Did I mention how much she loved me? Like I said, Miley and I have been best friends for a really long time. Our mothers were great friends. And Tish was like a second Mom to me, just as my mom was like a second Mom to Miley. The lady behind the desk sighed slightly, making me turn my head towards her. She looked at me sadly.

"The love of your life…? I wish I had a guy admitting to that. She's right down that hall…" I smiled ever so slightly and nodded.

"Thanks… and somewhere out there is that guy just waiting to meet you." She smiled at me and I left with Tish.

"How is she…" This sighed. She didn't let me finish.

"Not good… You have to go in there and talk to her… please?" I nodded without hesitation. Just as I was about to enter she grabbed my arm gently.

"Just so you know… she loves you too…" I smiled and blushed a little. So she heard me scream at the front desk lady. But I wasn't exaggerating. Miley _is _the love of my life. I finally entered the room. And believe me, what I saw was something I hoped to forget. My Miley - _my girl_ - was lying there on the hospital bed as hopeless as possible. Tears sprung to my eyes immediately.

I rushed over to her side and grabbed her hand tightly, though I tried not to hurt her. I kissed her forehead and put my head on hers.

"Oh, Mi… I'm so sorry, baby, so sorry... This is my entire fault…" I don't know why I called her baby… it just came naturally.

"I never liked Alex… she was just a way to forget you. I mean, romantically. Truth is… I love you. I do. I've loved you ever since we met. I know it's corny but It's the truth. And I really can't lose you. I need you, Mi…" I sighed and put my head down. I actually put it on her stomach and cried.

I guess I fell asleep there because the next thing I remember was someone's hand going through my hair. I groaned slightly and opened one eye. I thought it was my mom's hand but it wasn't. No one was above me. I followed the arm up to the body and to the face. My heart skipped a beat when I saw who was looking straight back at me.

"Hi." She croaked out and I immediately got up to hug her. She hugged me back and cried into my shoulder for a bit. I shed a few tears too. Soon I pulled back and honestly, I was a little angry at her.

"Why would you do that, huh? Do you really think I could live without you?" Miley looked away from me and sighed.

"It seemed like it. You have Alex." I shook my head sadly and took a hold of Miley's hand once again. She looked back at me with her big innocent eyes.

"But maybe I don't need her…" Miley shook her head.

"No, you need her. She's been your girlfriend for a few months now." I shrugged and played with Miley's fingers.

"But you've been my best friend since kindergarten." Miley chuckled and shook her head.

"Please, I know you'd give up your best friend for your girlfriend." Yeah, I would. I finally knew that I would risk out friendship for a relationship. I'd probably tell her that when hell froze over… or if she said it first. And even though Tish said that Miley loved me too… it might have meant that she loved me as a friend.

"Maybe I would…" I said it without thinking and regretted it the second I realized what I just said. Miley looked away from me. I quickly shook my head.

"No, no, no! Maybe I would… but sure as hell not for Alex. Alex is… stuck up and mean. I don't even know why I'm still dating her." Miley rolled her eyes.

"That's because you love her. And if you don't love her, the least you do is like her in some obscene way." I chuckled. Only Miley would say that.

"Okay, maybe I like her. But I'm pretty sure I don't love her. And I don't like her as a girlfriend - a friend maybe - acquaintance, not more." Miley giggled and shook her head.

"You're over exaggerating… you started dating her after all." I shrugged and put a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled a little.

"I can also end it, you know?" Miley closed her eyes and snuggled her face into the pillow.

"Why did you do it, Miles?" Miley shrugged and looked away. I pulled her face back and made her look at me.

"Why? Just tell me this, I won't get mad." Miley blushed a little and shrugged.

"My heart was hurting. And I told Mom. She didn't really read anything into it. I went up to my room but the pain didn't go away. And then I caught a glimpse of the bathroom. At first I wanted to take my medicine because they were supposed to make the pain go away. But after some time I realized that my pain wasn't the medical kind so I just took the razor blade instead of the medicine." She shrugged hopelessly and looked away from me.

Oh great, I made her hurt more than I thought. I sighed and bit my lip. I did this to her. And I would do anything and everything to make her feel better again - to make it up to her.

"I'm sorry… I know it's not much and I know it's definitely not enough but I'm sorry…" Miley turned back to me and shook her head.

"It's not your fault. You didn't do anything! Your girlfriend did the job… and still it's not your fault. It's all her. Now stop making yourself look guilty, because you're not." I sighed and shook my head. She was too forgiving. I'd definitely have to do something about the Alex problem. And I would do it fast, that I knew.

"Still, I feel guilty. You might say I'm not but I say I am. And now, don't start fighting with me." Miley sighed and smiled at me while shaking her head.

"You're a very stubborn person, Nick Gray. But that's okay." I chuckled and shook my head too.

"I only learned from the best…" Miley rolled her eyes before closing them.

"Are you tired?" She nodded and snuggled deeper into her covers. I only then realized that I should probably get a doctor. She woke up for the first time in a week apparently and she really needed a doctor. I leaned down and kissed her cheek softly. She smiled and I assumed that she was asleep again because she didn't open her eyes.

I left her room quietly. Tish immediately walked up to me. She hugged me as I smiled at her.

"She woke up… but now she's asleep again. I'll go get a doctor." Tish nodded and held a hand in front of her mouth. Miley was Tish's only daughter. I knew she'd go into a deep depression I would too. I found a doctor pretty fast. It wasn't a big hospital and there were plenty of nurses and doctors running around.

"Excuse me…?" The doctor turned around and smiled at me. And just like that, I told him everything - well, concerning Miley's wake up - and he walked into Miley's room quickly. I met up with Tish in front of her room.

A month; that's how long it has been since Miley was released from the hospital. Things have definitely changed. I was over at Miley's more than usual. Make that every day in the morning and afternoon. Sometimes I stayed over there too. You might wonder how I would manage that while still dating Alex.

Well, I broke up with her. Easy as that? No, don't count on it. I tried it often enough, she'd always change the subject. I finally yelled at her that it was over after two weeks. She understood and said we could be friends. I haven't really talked to her ever since. But don't think I was sad about it. She was civil with Miley - that's all I wanted.

Miley and I - that's a whole other talk. We had struggles - because I was still always blaming me for what she did to herself. But after I broke up with Alex, things changed. A lot, yup they did. I helped Miley through everything - she told me everything and we grew closer than ever. And no, I didn't tell her my feelings in any way. I let her know that I really cared about her. But I never mentioned it in a romantic way.

It was now afternoon and Miley was over. She was now feeling better than ever. She said it had something to do with me but I kind of didn't really think so. But she kept on insisting that it was me. So I agreed with her. Four weeks ago I was in that room with Alex - she on my bed and me at my computer - and my mom told me what happened.

Now we were in my room and we were both on my bed. Now, we were just lying there talking. It was nice lying there with her - and sometimes that was enough. But for a few days now I ached for her in my arms. And I would try to heal that ache… with finally telling her.

Miley giggled and looked at me. I looked back at her and shook my head confused.

"What?" She giggled again and shook her head.

"_And I would try to heal that ache… with finally telling her. _You're dramatic Nicky, I'm just saying." I blushed. Oh my god, I can't watch my tongue, can I? I bit my lip. Was this a sign? I decided to think it was and leaned up on my elbow. Miley looked at me interested.

"I need to tell you something." Miley chuckled and sat up, leaning her back on the headboard.

"What is it? Trying to heal that ache now?" I knew she was only joking but… she kind of seemed serious as well. I sat up next to her so I didn't have to look up at her and cleared my throat.

"Yes, actually." Her eyebrows furrowed. She realized this topic was serious.

"What is it?" I sighed and rubbed my face with my left hand. The cold metal of my purity ring was hot on my skin. Great, I'd be blushing soon. And I had no idea how to tell her what I felt anyway.

"Uhm… do you know this feeling you sometimes get when you're with someone you really like? That feeling where your heart beats a mile a minute and you have like a million butterflies in your stomach?" Miley chuckled confused and nodded.

"Yeah, but what has that got to do with anything?" I sighed again.

"What if I felt that right now?" I could hear Miley's breath stopping for a second. I knew she understood what I just said - what it meant. She looked at me shocked.

"Are you saying…?" I nodded slowly and looked away from her, staring straightly ahead.

"Yeah, I know, it's ridiculous. But I can't help it. I've tried to ignore it. That's why I started dating Alex - to forget about those feelings. But I can't - I can't anymore. And this has got to be the most unromantic and pathetic confession ever but the truth is… I love you. I have loved you since I first met you which was in kindergarten. I know that it seems too young to love someone at that age but it's true. I just never wanted to lose our friendship over a relationship that didn't work out.

But I can't hold it back anymore. I had to tell you… which I just did. I'm sorry that it wasn't more romantic or anything I just felt like I had to…" Miley cut me off. How? I don't know why, that question I can't answer. But how… boy, I loved the 'how'. She actually leaned over and kissed me. The first time I felt her lips on mine - and it was amazing, indescribable.

Of course I kissed her back immediately and wrapped my arms around her too. She straddled my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck and giggled as my thumbs grazed her exposed skin on her hips. I smiled and pulled back.

"Was that a positive response?" Miley rolled her eyes and kissed my cheek.

"No, that was my subtle way of telling you that I actually hate you and don't want anything to do with you." I laughed and pulled her close to me. She sighed happily - and I knew it was happily because she had different sounds while sighing. Yeah, I'm that obsessed with her.

"You know, I haven't exactly responded to your little speech yet…" I nodded slightly and glanced down at her. She looked up at me with a playful twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah, you haven't…" She giggled and put her head back down.

"I'm sorry this isn't romantic but I love you too." I smiled down at her and kissed her again. She giggled and kissed me back. This was how it was supposed to be. Her wrapped up in my arms and her lips on mine. And nothing else, really, nothing else. And I knew she felt the same too. We were only 17 and things would get tough, we both knew that. But that didn't matter. Because we grew up together, we lived through some pretty tough things together; we would go through all of it together. And I promised her exactly the same. And I kept that promise for the rest of my life. Like I said, I couldn't help it… but I didn't want to either.

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**Well, this was just a spur of the moment thing. I was bored in school and... it happened ;P Did you like it? I hope you did... let me know ;)**

**Twitter: christkind09**


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